MANILA, Philippines — Criticized for its formulaic music, Nickelback needs a new set of bulletproof vest after dating site Tastebuds proclaimed the Canadian rock band to be the biggest musical turn-off for young lovers.
While it seems awkward to have Nickelback’s hit “How You Remind Me” for a private fireplace moment, the survey also ranked the music of Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Coldplay, Katy Perry and U2 in the top turn-offs.
Reports from The Daily Telegraph and Brisbanetimes.com read: “A survey by American music-based dating site Tastebuds found both men and women agreed Nickelback was the No.1 deal breaker for a romantic evening, followed by the reigning prince and princess of pop. Men voted that ARIA album chart toppers Coldplay, U2 and Lil Wayne were also turn-offs while women suggested the date was a bust if their suitor was a fan of Katy Perry, Ke$ha or Taylor Swift.”
According to local radio reports, some 50,000 fans of the Detroit Lions reportedly signed a petition against Nickelback’s halftime performance scheduled on Thanksgiving Day (Nov. 25, Manila time). Fan Dennis Guttman argued via internet posts, “This game is nationally televised; do we really want the rest of the U.S. to associate Detroit with Nickelback? Detroit is home to so many great musicians and they chose Nickelback?!?... This is completely unfair to those of us who purchased tickets to the game. At least the people watching at home can mute their TVs. The Lions ought to think about their fans before choosing such an awful band to play at halftime.”
Are artists like Nickelback, Coldplay being bullied because they don’t fit the cool/romantic brand the way Bruno Mars or Maroon 5 have it sold? Columnist Danny Katz backed up the trend of disgust in an article titled “Even modern lyricists need rhyme (and reason)” posted Nov. 5.
Taking down Colplay, Katz said, “If it was possible to punch a musical act, I’d punch Coldplay right in its alt-rock, dirge-chorded, anaemically anthemic Brit-teeth. No other musical act gets close to Coldplay’s punchability levels, not even U2, who deserve a hefty Alex Dimitriades slap in their pretentious brat-faces, or Nickelback, who should be held down behind the shelter shed at recess and given a 360-degree nipple-cripple on their Canadian kiddie-rock man-boobs.”
Katz went on: “And if it was possible to punch a song, I’d punch Coldplay’s latest hit, ‘Paradise,’ right in the bridge of its middle bridge.”
When is a hit song a bad song? Katz pointed out how rhymes should make for reasons: “I feel fully qualified to ask a simple question: in the three minutes it probably took to write the song (remarkable seeing the song runs 3:28), did the Coldplay composers notice for even a second that the word ‘girl’ does not actually rhyme with ‘world,’ in the same way ‘reach’ does not actually rhyme with ‘sleep,’ in the same way ‘para-para-paradise’ does not actually rhyme with ‘closed her eyes?’ It plunges me into deep despair, the slack-arsed state of modern lyric-writing: once it was a high art, with bespectacled Brill-building lyricists labouring over every word to make sure rhymes were perfect and syllables scanned and verses tripped lightly off the tongue - but now pretty much all songwriting centres around the Aww-Good-Enough technique where ‘girl’ kind of rhymes with ‘world,’ and ‘maybe’ fits nice with ‘baby,’ and the useful ‘ohhhhhhhh’ rhymes magnificently with both ‘whoaahhhhhhhh’ and ‘ho.’”
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With a link to videos by each artist, Tastebud’s top 20 music turn-offs are (for men): 1. Nickelback, 2. Justin Bieber, 3. Lady Gaga, 4. Coldplay, 5. U2, 6. Lil Wayne, 7. Creed, 8. Ke$ha, 9. Britney Spears, 10. Black Eyed Peas, 11. Dave Matthews Band, 12. Oasis, 13. Mumford & Sons, 14. Kings Of Leon, 15. Eminem, 16. Kanye West, 17. Linkin Park, 18. 50 Cent, 19. Metallica, 20. Rihanna.
For women: 1. Nickelback, 2. Justin Bieber, 3. Lady Gaga, 4. Katy Perry, 5. Ke$ha, 6. Taylor Swift, 7. Coldplay, 8. Creed, 9. Rihanna, 10. Miley Cyrus, 11. U2, 12. Britney Spears, 13. Lil Wayne, 14. Nicki Minaj, 15. Rebecca Black, 16. Insane Clown Posse, 17. Dave Matthews Band, 18. Black Eyed Peas, 19. Selena Gomez, 20. James Blunt.
